Sometimes Terry starts arguments with strangers when he drinks...

What's that smell?
I was hanging out at Terry's the other night, and I noticed that something smelled different. It was like a cross between Pine Sol and nail polish remover. I asked Terry about it, and he said, "Hell yeah man... that's my new cologne. I bought a case of it at Sunshine's* for 20 bucks." He went to the bathroom and returned with a bottle of Studd cologne, made right here in Atlanta. Nice!

When I pointed out that the bottle looked very much like a dick, Terry said, "Ewww... man! Don't say shit like that. I put this stuff on my face!"

* Sunshine's is a department store that closed it's doors in the mid 70s. The owners literally locked the place up, and there it sat until the late 1990s. It reopened under new management, selling the exact same inventory that had been locked up 20 years earlier. Studd is a vintage scent!

You up for a game of strip Golden Tee?
Terry asked this girl if she would play Golden Tee with him. If he wins she has to take off her top. If *she* wins she gets to "show him the twins"... She politely declined. Without missing a beat, Terry said, "I bet I can finish this beer before you can get that shirt off!"

Terry in his natural environment...
Scoping the place for some "strange".

Ok... here's another one from that night we got ripped and I convinced Terry to talk to my answering machine. I had recently given him a copy of Death From Above 1979's You're A Woman, I'm A Machine. Here's his review...

Terry Ricks on love songs...

Keeper: So what did you think of that DFA CD?

Terry: Pretty damn good.

Keeper: Any favorites?

Terry: I ain't big on all that romance shit, but that song about the "so sexy" bitch in his office [Sexy Results**]... That shit is hot! I don't know a girl anywhere that wouldn't cream herself if a guy said some shit like that to her. She'd be like putty on your dick in nothin' flat. It's about fuckin', but it's kinda romantic at the same time, you know? Telling her she's a sexy bitch and all...


** In case you don't know the song. The lyrics he's referring to are:

Sexy woman come to your office
Sexy woman meet me after work
I wanna show you how I handle business
I wanna show you how I work, work, woooork

My man wants to buy you something
He wants to take you our for dinner and dancing
My friend wants to take you out, then home
Then home... alone

Pretty damned romantic, eh?

Terry told me he was "gonna get some of that" at the bar the other night. He got a beer...

Terry going to check out some "models"

This is from a conversation that Terry and I had over several beers one night...
It was getting funnier and funnier the drunker Terry got, so I decided to call home and have him talk to my answering machine. And he did it!

Terry Ricks on his 'stache

Keeper: Mustaches aren't so much in fashion with men under 40 these days...
But you wear yours proudly. Or should I say defiantly?

Terry Ricks: Nah... the 'stache is just... it gives you a lot of confidence. You know? It's like shaving your balls. When it's time to close the deal, and you know the guy across the table doesn't shave his balls... it just gives you that edge. It's a psychological thing. You know what I mean?

Keeper: [laughing] Really? And what kind of deals are you closing with that thought in mind?

Terry: I don't know. Anything really. It even helps when you're closing the deal with a lady. It's just an edge. You know?

Keeper: Yeah...

Terry: Couple weeks ago I sold this kid a case of shit beer for a 300% profit... You know that guy didn't shave his balls.

Two for one table dances... Terry signals for a "fair catch".